So, it's the morning after... and I remain so very proud to be an American.
Yet, so deeply ashamed to be a Californian.
Today, the Constitution of this state has been amended. Amended to strip rights away from one group of people. Amended to say that one type of marriage is legitimate, and thus, the other types are not.
Shameful.
Last night was a microcosm of this country. It showed how far we'd come, and how far we have to go.
How did this happen?
How did California vote for Barack Obama 61% to 37%, yet vote for Proposition 8, 52% to 48%?
For that matter, how did Florida vote for Obama 51% to 48% yet vote to ban gay marriage with 62% of the vote?
The answer is pretty clear, when you look at those numbers. Failure of leadership. Failure by Barack Obama, Joe Biden and the Democratic Party.
Barack Obama has said that he believes marriage is between a man and a woman. He supports civil unions, but not gay marriage.
Yet, when Yes on 8 ads showed his picture with the quote "marriage is between a man and a woman," he argued with that, called it misleading, because he was against Proposition 8.
But why was he against it? His public statements match the language that the proposition added to the California constitution. Almost word for word.
The same for Joe Biden. He, too, says that marriage is between a man and a woman and that he's against redefining it.
And he too was used on Yes on 8 ads.
Don't they get it? Don't they see? You can't walk this issue down the middle, guys. There is no middle. Either you think marriage should be available for all citizens, or you don't. There is no third option. Now, you can (and they do) argue for a separate but equal status, such as civil unions. But don't pretend to be against Proposition 8 if that's what you're after. Prop 8 didn't outlaw civil unions.
And, really, how is it moral leadership to say you're in favor of 'separate but equal'? Is that what the civil rights movement taught us?
The bottom line is, the Democrats have failed to lead on this issue. They want to be pro-gay rights, yet they don't want to alienate those who are against it. That's not leading, that's following, and it's following two groups going in two different directions. Which leads to meandering aimlessly in an ill-defined middle ground the way McCain wandered the stage in the second debate.
I want real leadership from the Democrats.
When Jews were being driven from country to country, it would not have been leadership to say, "I don't think they belong here, but I'm against people chasing them out."
Or during the battle for desegregation of our schools, it would not have been leadership to say "I don't want black kids in my kid's school, but I think a law preventing them from going is wrong."
Do those two stances sound half-assed and pathetic? They should. Do they sound remarkably like the Democratic stance on gay marriage? As the woman who will (thankfully) not be our V.P. would say... you betcha.
The saddest part was that this was the year for real leadership. The economic crisis meant that fear-mongering and wedge issues wouldn't work.
South Dakota and Colorado defeated measures that would have limited or removed a woman's right to choose. Why? Because the Democrats won big (even though they lost in South Dakota, they did better than usual there), and the party has taken a clear stand on this issue.
Imagine what could have happened if the Democrats had said "let's make all Americans equal" on the subject of gay marriage. Imagine if the Republicans tried to make an issue of it, and Obama simply said, "they're trying to distract you with issues that don't affect your day to day lives because they have nothing to say on the economy."
He could have made people see the wedge issue of gay rights for what it is. A smokescreen.
Really, what straight person's life is in any way affected by whether two gay men or two lesbians have the right to marry? How does it affect anyone but those two, and their families and friends?
It doesn't, it never has, and it never will.
And the fact that the party that gave us an African American president refuses to say that tells me that as proud as I am of my party and my country today... we have a ton of work to do.
